Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
