Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
This baby is an asshole
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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