You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
