that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Farmville is her only friend.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
