I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
