you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
