The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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