I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
