I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
