Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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