What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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