I got chris browned last night
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
