I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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