I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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