I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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