I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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