Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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