Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
My balls are so social today.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
