as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I believe in your delicious
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
