Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
