i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
