I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
accomplished twins. life is a go
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I have fence marks all over my body
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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