if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
only if we run a train.
done.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
