i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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