..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
