He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
