well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
