he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
