Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
