If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
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