and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
