So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Do you remember whose house we're in?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
