mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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