Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
