i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
