I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
