with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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