Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
