we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
