The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
What a dumb baby whore.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
