I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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