You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
