so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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