This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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