Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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