weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
