My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Threesome in a minivan. New low
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
