Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
