the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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