He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize