I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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