I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
